• 找到合适的育儿嫂不容易，

    从哪里寻找一位合适的育儿嫂？

    寻找一位合适的育儿嫂，无外乎两个渠道：机构 or 朋友介绍。

    我首先推荐朋友介绍，特别是跟自己家庭环境、家庭情况、生活习惯差不多的朋友所用过的、推荐的育儿嫂，因为从朋友那里，你可以获得更多的一手信息，省去了自己去验证和猜测的麻烦（不过要注意，你和朋友对于“好”的判断标准可能会很不一样）。

    所以，如果你有认识的朋友家里，孩子大了准备去幼儿园了，阿姨准备下户了，对阿姨各方面都挺满意的话，正好可以衔接上。平时也可以多多留意，让朋友帮忙寻找这样的阿姨。

    那么，找育儿嫂要注意哪些问题？

    1.  时间安排

    尽可能早地去选择阿姨，如果有可能，在孩子小月龄时就让阿姨上门是较好的安排。不要觉得“我还在休产假，家里有人照顾孩子，这时候还不需要阿姨”。称心的阿姨不会在你上班前那一个星期突然从天上掉下来，处处按照你的育儿理念接续你的工作。多给一点时间让孩子接受和适应阿姨，阿姨熟悉孩子。

    2.  阿姨的年龄

    以42-52岁之间为宜，太年轻的带小孩容易缺乏耐心，岁数过大的体力不支。考虑到一般请育儿嫂也不会只请一年半载，应有一点年龄上的余量。

    3. 阿姨的家乡

    这个就看个人偏好。很多人在找阿姨时容易陷入地域误区“四川的阿姨肯定麻利”、“山东的阿姨都淳朴”、“东北的肯定直爽”……其实真不一定。在家政市场上，南方的阿姨普遍受欢迎一些，但其实地域不能完全成为一个人的个性标签。阿姨具体是什么个性需要你去聊、接触、感受。但总体来说，你要先确定你需要的是哪种特质，并容忍这种特质相对应的缺点——干活麻利积极的一般脾气也火爆；性格温和有耐心的大多不会很直爽；敦厚老实的则往往不够高效。不要对阿姨的个性有不切实际的过高期待。你工作中的同事，从业门槛比阿姨高，个性也没有十全十美的呀。

    我对阿姨的要求是“温和，有耐心，爱孩子”，所以即便阿姨做事慢一点，我也不会挑剔。

    如果阿姨来自比较特殊的地方，也许需要你进行更多的背景调查。

    Finding the right nanny isn't easy.

    Where can you find a suitable nanny?

    There are two main channels for finding a suitable nanny: agencies or referrals from friends.

    I recommend referrals from friends, especially those who have used or recommended nannies from friends with similar family backgrounds, circumstances, and lifestyles. This allows you to get more firsthand information from friends, saving you the trouble of verifying and guessing on your own (though be aware that your and your friends' definitions of "good" may differ significantly).

    So, if you know a friend whose child is older and ready to go to kindergarten and whose nanny is ready to move in, and they're all satisfied with the nanny, then this could be a good match. You can also keep an eye out for them and ask friends to help you find such a nanny.

    So, what are some important considerations when looking for a nanny?

    1. Timing

    Choose a nanny as early as possible. If possible, it's best to have the nanny come to your home when your child is still a few months old. Don't assume, "I'm still on maternity leave and have someone at home to take care of the child, so I don't need a nanny yet." A satisfactory nanny won't suddenly appear a week before you start your new job and take over your duties by adhering to your childcare philosophy. Give your child time to accept and adapt to the nanny, and for the nanny to become familiar with your child.

    2. Nanny's Age

    A nanny should be between 42 and 52 years old. Those who are too young may lack patience with children, while those who are too old may not be physically capable. Considering that nannies are generally hired for more than a year or two, there should be some age margin.

    3. Nanny's Hometown

    This comes down to personal preference. Many people fall into the misconception of regional preferences when looking for a nanny: "Aunties from Sichuan are definitely quick and efficient," "Aunties from Shandong are simple and honest," and "Aunties from Northeast China are definitely straightforward." These aren't necessarily true. Nannies from the south are generally more popular in the domestic service market, but region alone shouldn't be a complete indicator of a person's personality. A nanny's specific personality requires conversation, interaction, and experience. But generally speaking, you need to first determine the qualities you're looking for and be willing to tolerate the corresponding weaknesses. Someone who's quick and proactive often has a hot temper; someone who's gentle and patient often isn't very forthright; someone who's honest and sincere often isn't very efficient. Don't have unrealistically high expectations of a nanny's personality. Your colleagues at work have a higher barrier to entry than your nanny, and their personalities aren't perfect either.

    My requirements for a nanny are "gentle, patient, and child-friendly," so even if she's a little slow, I'm not picky.

    If the nanny comes from a unique background, you might need to conduct more background research.

    4. 从哪里找阿姨

    可以是可靠、有育儿经验且比较尊重你意见的亲戚，然而事实上，能满足这些要求的亲人并不好找，很多时候，雇佣关系反而比亲戚关系更稳固，因为更容易达成“管理”的效果，反而是亲人，会有很多不方便说话的因素在里面；

    也可以是亲朋好友推荐的他们用过的阿姨，但前提是这些亲朋好友的育儿理念、为人处事观念跟你较为接近，否则这种推荐未必靠谱；

    如果这两种途径都没有，那么推荐去规模较大、管理相对规范、口碑好的家政公司去请育儿嫂，这样起码对阿姨有个约束，在你遇到问题时也可以更方便地找到人来接替。

    5. 准备一些面试问题

    确定了去家政公司找阿姨的话，你会根据条件筛选出几个阿姨面试。

    面试的时候，先看——穿着暴露、佩戴很多首饰的尽量不要选，衣衫邋遢、面容不洁的不要选，面带病容、气色不佳的不要选；再听——听听口音，会不会影响日常沟通，让她们从“年龄、家庭情况、从业经历”方面自我介绍一下，看看思路是否清晰，说话颠三倒四的就算了；再问——问问她们在前雇主家做了多久，为什么没有继续做？当然，你不必指望得到全部实话，但从中可以窥见阿姨的个性。

    比如我有次面试一个阿姨，大谈她前任雇主是中X油的老总，家里多么多么大，对方如何如何信任她对她好，给她提供各种优越的物质。那么我只好说“抱歉啊，我们只是普通老百姓，家里条件有限，没办法提供这么好的环境，怕委屈了您。”

    还可以问问她们“平时如何学做菜”、“育儿知识从哪里获得”，看看她们学习能力怎么样。

    6. 经验越丰富越好吗？

    这个看雇主的个性和喜好。高年资型育儿嫂适合父母本身没有太多育儿知识，在育儿上也没大主意或者是特别忙无暇顾及的，价格也贵一些；但对我来说，我更愿意选择刚刚从家务阿姨转向育儿嫂的“新手”，因为我希望自己的育儿理念能得到更好的贯彻，担心经验主义会影响到新知识的接纳，所以阿姨的第一手育儿知识由我来传授，在我看来是最理想的。所以我更看重学习能力而不是经验，而且这样的阿姨价格也会低一些，更有利于你为她规划涨薪空间，激发工作积极性。

    我家阿姨虽然之前没有做过育儿嫂，但是当初我问她怎么学做菜时，她给我看她手机里有“下厨房”app，我觉得她是个爱琢磨爱学习的人。经过两年的育儿实践，现在阿姨对我在喂养、睡眠方面所立的规矩，从不理解到不忍心，再到现在心悦诚服，向其他阿姨推广，我认为在这一点上，我们的磨合是成功的。

    7.必要的背景调查

    对于锁定的阿姨人选，要进行一些背景调查，主要包括两方面——健康背景和社会背景。

    有健康证还不够，最好带阿姨去加查一下乙肝、甲肝等传染性疾病。而背景调查，则不用我多说，杭州纵火案带给我们的教训够深刻了。具体怎么进行背景调查呢？很多人说，要求家政公司或去公安局去开“无犯罪记录证明”，但我想说，这个只是刑事记录，不体现民事违法行为的。上篇文章中，我们的读者“安颜”在留言里给大家提供了很好的途径，我帮大家整理一下：

    a. 中华人民共和国最高人民法院的“全国法院被执行人信息查询”网站（http://zhixing.court.gov.cn/search/），根据姓名和身份证号码，可查当事人是否曾经成为法院被执行人；

    b.最高人民法院的“中国执行信息公开网”（http://shixin.court.gov.cn），根据姓名或身份证号码，可查当事人是否曾经成为失信被执行人；

    c.最高人民法院的“中国裁判文书网”（http://shixin.court.gov.cn），根据当事人姓名，可查曾涉及的已被法院判决的民事纠纷。

    如果这些没有问题，还可以再用“所在家政公司名字+阿姨名字+曝光/吐槽/骗子/维权等字眼”在百度、微博搜索框里都试着搜一下，看看有没有以往雇主对其控诉；

    如有允许，可以请家政公司提供前雇主的联系方式，打过去和前雇主沟通一下，听听雇主对阿姨的评价。

    4. Where to Find a Nanny

    You can find a reliable relative with childcare experience who respects your opinions. However, finding a relative who meets these requirements is often difficult. Often, an employment relationship is more stable than a family relationship because it's easier to achieve a "management" effect. However, when it comes to family, there are many factors that can make it difficult to speak up.

    You can also find a Nanny recommended by friends and family who have worked with you. However, this requires that their parenting philosophies and personal values ​​are similar to yours; otherwise, such a recommendation may not be reliable.

    If neither of these options are available, it's recommended to hire a Nanny from a larger, more standardized, and reputable housekeeping company. This provides some control over the Nanny and makes it easier to find a replacement if you encounter any problems.

    5. Prepare Some Interview Questions

    If you've decided to go with a housekeeping company, you'll shortlist several Nannies for interviews based on your qualifications.

    During an interview, first observe—avoid those wearing revealing clothing or lots of jewelry, those with slovenly clothes or untidy appearances, or those who appear ill or have a bad complexion. Then listen—listen to their accent to see if it will affect daily communication. Ask them to describe themselves in terms of age, family situation, and work experience to see if their ideas are clear; if they are disorganized, ignore them. Then ask—ask them how long they worked for their previous employer and why they didn't continue. Of course, you don't have to expect the full truth, but you can get a glimpse into their personality.

    For example, I once interviewed a woman who went on and on about her previous employer, the CEO of China Oil, how their family was so large, and how they trusted her, treated her well, and provided her with all sorts of luxurious things. I had no choice but to say, "I'm sorry, we're just ordinary people with limited resources. We can't provide such a good environment. I'm afraid I'm putting you in a difficult position."

    You can also ask them how they learned to cook and where they learned parenting skills to gauge their learning abilities.

    6. Is more experience better?

    This depends on the employer's personality and preferences. Senior nannies are suitable for parents who don't have much parenting knowledge, don't have a strong sense of parenting, or are too busy to take care of their children. They also tend to be more expensive. However, I prefer newcomers who have just transitioned from housekeeping to nannying. I want my parenting philosophy to be more fully implemented, and I worry that empirical reasoning might hinder the absorption of new knowledge. Therefore, I believe it's ideal for the nanny to impart firsthand parenting knowledge. Therefore, I prioritize learning ability over experience. Such nannies also command lower salaries, making it easier to plan salary increases and motivate them.

    Although my nanny had never worked as a nanny before, when I asked her how she learned to cook, she showed me the "Xiachufang" app on her phone. I'm impressed by her curiosity and willingness to learn. After two years of parenting experience, she's gone from not understanding my rules for feeding and sleeping to being completely convinced and now sharing them with other nannies. I believe our successful collaboration is based on this.

    7. Required Background Checks

    For selected housekeepers, background checks should be conducted, primarily covering two areas: health and social background.

    A health certificate isn't enough; it's best to take the housekeeper for additional tests for infectious diseases like hepatitis B and A. As for background checks, I needn't elaborate; the Hangzhou arson case provided a profound lesson. How should background checks be conducted? Many people suggest requesting a "Certificate of Clearance" from the housekeeping company or the public security bureau. However, I would like to point out that this is only a criminal record and doesn't reflect any civil violations. In the previous article, our reader "An Yan" provided excellent resources in the comments. I'll summarize them for you:

    a. The Supreme People's Court of the People's Republic of China's "National Court Execution Debtor Information Inquiry" website (http://zhixing.court.gov.cn/search/) allows you to check whether a party has ever been a court executor by name and ID number.

    b. The Supreme People's Court's "China Enforcement Information Disclosure Network" (http://shixin.court.gov.cn) allows you to check whether a party has ever been a dishonest executor by name or ID number.

    c. The Supreme People's Court's "China Judgment Documents Network" (http://shixin.court.gov.cn) allows you to check any civil disputes that have been adjudicated by court by name.

    If these are all correct, you can also try searching Baidu and Weibo using the name of the housekeeping company + the name of the nanny + terms like "exposure/complaint/scammer/rights protection" to see if there are any complaints from previous employers.

    If permitted, ask the housekeeping company for the contact information of the previous employer and call them to discuss their assessment of the nanny.